The night was so young that night. I was out on our balcony lying there with nothing to do. The sandman was not even showing up even though it was already 12:00 in the morning. I kept staring at the stars taking into consideration each and every movement that might mean a falling star or an alien spacecraft hovering somewhere overhead. I kept staring at the rosary constellation while saying an unintended prayer for the day to come. The Big Dipper is now deeper into the sky than I thought. Every now and then I kept looking for the Polaris to tell what time it was.
30 minutes later still nothing happens to my whole boring excursions of the skies. Every twinkling light out there seem to mock me with the most number of insults. But my mind came to a halt as soon as the memory of her came into view. I just hate these phases when in the middle of nowhere I see her face floating towards the moon or something. I hate to think that I did not have time for her then, then all these has to happen. All these cr*p about me leaving her behind, about me taking another step towards my other self. Why does it have to be this way?
Then something called my name but, FYI, it was not her but the voice of a guy...a familiar guy. A friend of mine. I don't know why he called but I had no choice but to answer. I walked down the big steps of our house to our mini-gate but nobody was there. Maybe it was just my imagination because It could not be really calling at this time of the night. But why did I hear his voice? I really don't know...
A flowery scent sent creeps up my neck. I really miss them that much, don't I? but no matter, I had my own scent to carry on to. Maybe nobody will make me stay this way...I'm just out of circulation these days...
Music from the shop kept me company for the rest of the night. I sang in the tune of "24Hours" until sleep came to me. I had no choice but to sleep on the wooden floor but it did not differ from my bed...
Tomorrow will be fine as long as I don't let anyone see me in this condition. Reminiscing everything this way will make me look like a crazy person ready to take on his own world. Thank God I have these conditions only at night.
I just want to hold on to the memories of yesterday and may they guide me tomorrow...and tomorrow...and the next days of my life...
I just hope they are all real...
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Hallucinations are triggered stimuli even though there is no existing cause for the stimuli to be triggered. This causes false images for the five senses and the one experiencing these situations may make the happenings to be true and might hurt them.
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Points to ponder:
If a tree false in the woods but nobody was there to hear or see the fall, did it fall?
Imagine yourself in a locked room and without anything in it. Then you smell a scent or see something move. How do you know that it is real?
How do we prove that this whole world is real?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
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