I came there, nothing to in mind but the night ahead of me. Tomorrow will be a hard day...or so I thought. How will this night end, I thought. I think I will never know. My mind was racing as I heard that voice shouting inside. What the heck is happening to me?
I left people behind just to stay where I belonged. I had no choice but to start all over again. Thats is, if I can. No one that knows me trusts me anymore and the ones ignorant of who I really am are still kept in the dark. I can't afford to lose them. They're all I've got as of the moment. If they gain my thoughts, I will be alone again. I am always that way. Shut-in Faked-out.
My Life is now revolving around only four places, creating a monotinic tune within each day of my existence. Well, at least I can say I have words to describe how happy I am within my galaxy of four corners. Home, i have everything I need, no money, no food, no nothing...just family. School, I have all I can hope for, promises, dreams and reality. The shop contains all that lifts me up...PCs, friends and people I can talk to, show who I really am and try to see if they could accept me. And finally, my world...a world of no lights but full of color, A world of silence where I voice out everything I want, a world that looks at me as no one but still manages to know me. It is ironic that I prefer my own galaxy rather than the real world.
It seems I'm being too attached to people again. The last two times I became attached to people, I stumbled. Two circle of friends crumbled before my very eyes, one totally destroyed, the other partially parted. They left me wounded but I will move on. I hope that would never happen again. Well, thats up to them anyway...and maybe its all my fault if they decide against me. If, again, all else fails, I need to find another place to stay.
Why am I concerned about them now? Maybe, just maybe, I want them permanent in my life. They keep me company, listen to my stories and they tell me their everyday lives. Some misunderstanding but they never last for more than an hour, which is the best. Im trying to find if they will stand by me, and I think they will with their lives. Thats more than I wanted to know and more than I wanted from people. I never expected anything from other people but they exceeded my standards, or maybe Im being too ideal again.
The daylight is breaking but still I am here sitting in front of the PC typing words that no one sees. Looking at the persons around me sends flashes of hope inside me. Our shouts in the night could send us to the nearest police station but still we continue coz' were happy. Maybe Im just too shut in that I always think that its too dark.
Someone opened the glass doors. It was morning already and light was streaming outside. Rain was making everything look solemn. I smiled at the thought that I lasted that dark night just to see the beautiful day ahead of me with the once laughing with me all they way.
I need to rest now. Today will be a short day and the week ahead will be longer than a month's worth of time.
At least, I have another weekend to look forward to.
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