Friday, August 25, 2006

Analytic Symptom #29: Phobia

Schitnophronotiniaric Tiranity!

Whatever that means...

Its just that Im being scared of a couple of things right now.

Starting with the obvious, my crappy skills in computing is taking its toll on me...YET AGAIN!!! Ive got to extend every ounce of effort I have just to have a chance on passing this subject. I may be taking things too seriously, others take this subject for more than 4 times, but still, My time, effort and money's being wasted and I am responsible for all this! Then theres these two MP's due next month...yes next month and Im problematic about them given I can only program for hours at a time coz I dont have my own PC and the PC here wont allow me to download a C++ and the PCs here dont have CD-players. A big problem...

Another thing, Im being too attached to people again. I certainly like the feeling of being important but this is ridiculous...for me. Im getting hints from someone about... err... how important I am (well, putting it in a really, really safe context) but I cannot respond just yet. I just had this...err yet again... "stupor" feeling less than a sem ago and I cannot take that very same risk again. But I dont want that person to feel that Im too numb (in layman's term: Manhid) that I keep avoiding the instance. Its just that maybe Im just -nag fi-feeling- and get the note far from where it should really land. Crap...I just hate...uhmm...nevermind! (NOTE: no person involved)

Then theres this big amount of clash between people of my group and well, having read many psychiatry books, someone is feeling out and someone is not knowing that fact. I dont want anyone to break from us and it will be like )(*$_@# if that happens.

I maybe just too paranoid to think these things but I just want everything to be Ideal...thats just the way I am.

i hope evrything turns out fine...and If it does not...I must do something about it!

Wish me luck~ haiyz~ more work and less play again...Ouch!~

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